i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
