Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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