But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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