another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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