Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize