Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
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I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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