i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
