You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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