Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
