Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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