I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
