My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
