So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
