I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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