I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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