that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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