Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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