I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
