i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
whose parrot is this?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
