um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
