Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
