next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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