I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How does one acquire holy water?
We are all done wearing pants today
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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