hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
