I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
