I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
