thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize