if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
