Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
