OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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