return my video game
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
