so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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