are you still at the devil's house?
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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