I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize