just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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