As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize