so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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