Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?