They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
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I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.