I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
