i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
