you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
