I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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