I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
