I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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