So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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