new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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