A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
