oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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