ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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