she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
