if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
