Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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