I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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