Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
