my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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