dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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