he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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