u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
