I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize