Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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